


Zero Gee

by kronette



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M, Season/Series 10, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-11-02
Packaged: 2017-12-31 08:02:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronette/pseuds/kronette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The prompt was: Series X era. It gets boring in deep space. Rimmer and Lister come up with increasingly creative ways to have sex in order to keep themselves entertained.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Zero Gee

Lister held the ice pack to his throbbing eye and glared at Rimmer with the uninjured one. "Why'd you have to go and panic, eh? We was doing good."

Rimmer sniffed annoyingly and adjusted the sling around his left shoulder. "We were not 'doing good' as you so crudely put it," he snapped. "If I hadn’t caught you – at great personal injury to myself –" he added with a flick of his right wrist toward the sling, "you would have been flattened across J-deck. Did you give any thought to Kryten, having to scrape your innards out of the deck grating?"

Lister rolled his eyes. "No, you twat, I was thinking that trying a 69 in zero gee would be exciting. How was I to know that the gravity setting had a timer on it?"

Rimmer's voice rose to a fevered pitch. "Well you should have checked! We both could have died, and for what? A blasted orgasm? My life is worth more than that, miladdo."

The ice pack dropped away from Lister's eye as he peered closer at Rimmer. His lover was being irrational, even for him, and there was an odd note to his voice. "Rimmer, are you upset about the accident, or upset that you didn't get off?"

"What kind of options are those?" Rimmer squeaked. "Can't I be upset for an entirely different reason? Can't I have my own, personal reasons for never wanting you to touch me again?"

And that, right there, was what convinced Lister that Rimmer was indeed smegged off because Lister hadn't finished the job. Struggling not to grin, Lister crawled over to Rimmer sat at the table and pushed his chair back.

Bewildered, hungry eyes met his. "Lister, what are you…" Rimmer's voice trailed off as Lister's hands worked at the fastenings on his trousers.

Lister licked his lips as he found Rimmer still half-hard. "I'm a man of my word, Rimmer, and if I say I'm going to blow you, then I'm going to blow you. Now shut up, lean back and give me room."

To his credit, Rimmer clapped his mouth shut, slid to the edge of the chair and spread his legs wide open, giving Lister ample room to shuffle between them.

"Ow, smeg," Rimmer whined as he tried to reach for Lister's head, only to be brought up short by the sling. He slid his right hand into Lister's hair and tangled his fingers around the locks, thrusting mindlessly into the eager mouth.

Lister pushed forward, sliding more of Rimmer's length into his mouth. He was drooling and humming and having a grand time when he felt fingernails dig into his scalp. He pulled off with a, "Hey!" and glared up at Rimmer.

Rimmer was breathing heavily and his eyes were glassy. "Don’t stop," he begged. "Smeg, so close."

Lister couldn't be mad at him, not with the dazed look on his face. Determined to get Rimmer off as fast as possible, he sucked the head to the back of his throat, swallowing around it. Rimmer came almost immediately, panting and shaking and limp as Lister pulled off of him and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"So, we even now?" he asked roughly, his throat feeling raw.


	2. Unsanitary Habits

The hand clamped over Lister's mouth did little to stifle his moans. He was sitting on Rimmer's lap facing the doorway, Rimmer's cock buried so far up his ass he felt it in his throat. His hand was moving fast and sure on his cock, trying to bring himself to climax as quickly as possible.

Just as he felt the build up and his moans took on increased frequency, Rimmer's hand forced him to stop.

"You fucking smegger!" he screamed, though it came out, "Mrph kkkigggg eeeeaaaaa!"

Rimmer's deceptively calm voice in his ear belied the strain he was under. "Not so fast, Lister. I wouldn't want you to ruin Kryten's surprise when he comes off duty and finds us in his quarters, me still buried inside you."

Rimmer's words washed over him, twisting something deep in his chest and causing his penis to jerk and fill even more. His heart was hammering in his ears, his breathing erratic and his face flaming hot in embarrassment, but smeg, Rimmer had been right. The idea of getting caught in the middle of sex was one thing; getting caught by Kryten, in Kryten's quarters, as Rimmer thrust up into him was dirty, filthy, disgusting – he moaned against Rimmer's hand.

"Are your eyes open, Lister?" Rimmer asked with a tremor in his voice.

They hadn't been, but Rimmer would know if he was lying. He opened them and nodded, his eyes fixating immediately on the clock: three minutes. He moaned brokenly and rocked his hips back and forth on Rimmer's thighs, trying to bring himself back to the edge.

"That's it – make me come, too," Rimmer ordered with a soft groan. "I want Kryten to see both of us falling apart. I want to shoot inside you just as he comes in the door…"

Lister whined and closed his eyes, his entire body shaking with the intensity of his orgasm. He was able to gulp in great lungfuls of air as his mouth was abruptly released, feeling Rimmer's hips start to slam upward in his rush to climax. His chest ached where Rimmer's arms encircled him, Rimmer's scream of completion muffled by his face pressed tightly to Lister's shoulder.

Their ragged breaths accompanied the clock ticking over, but over everything they heard the familiar metal clomp of Kryten's arrival to his quarters.

Lister's face flamed as Kryten stopped short in the doorway, his mask of a face twisted into a bizarre series of emotions, eventually settling on disgusted. "Really, sirs, is this truly necessary? Must you drag the rest of us into your sexual fantasies? Honestly, you'd think you were two teenagers learning what your penis is." Kryten stepped aside and pointed toward the corridor. "Out."

Face still burning hot, Lister grabbed for his trousers around his ankles and pulled them up hastily as he stood. "Er, sorry," he offered as he bolted from Kryten's quarters, Rimmer stepping out a few seconds later, his face and neck cherry red.

As he listened to the sound of Kryten tutting and muttering about unsanitary habits, Lister turned to his lover and said, "So, Cat's quarters next week?"


End file.
